The basic principle I based my decision on, is a thought that kind of struck me and that is, why would I want to engage in a path, now when I am old, which I did not believe my whole life was right, when the only thing that was missing was something that could be corrected, worked on and sorted? I firmly wanted to capitalize my energies into something of real value that would survive any circumstances, when things might not work out the way I intended things to work out. In addition to which path to take, the other question that really troubled me was, if i would lose everything for some unexpected reason, would i still have everything to sustain me? I believe the Lord was calling me back home, because only if I really have HIM, do I have everything to sustain me.
I spend a reasonable amount of time studying, learning, praying, examining, dissecting and so forth, which helped me to understand and see how helplessly I was in need of getting to know the truth and the truth giver, which I did not have a real personal connection too. I am not saying I have now arrived, no, not at all, the only thing I do know now is that I am nothing, if I don’t really have him, Jesus.
When looking around me, I started seeing that no generation before us, has ever been as manipulated as the generation that lives today. We adapted living in this technological environment that we also distrust even as we feel compelled to use it. It’s a kind of vicious cycle that I did not want to be part of. Nothing making sense any more, everybody has his own measures of right and wrong, and look were it leads to, it’s going into a massive down spiral, knowingly or unknowingly.
If part of living in this modern world today means that I’m going to be exposed to ideas that i find offensive, dark, wicked, than what do i do, to challenge the influences that control these effects? I know it is a spiritual warfare and that is where the real fight is going to have to happen. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Eph. 6:12. It’s all spiritual, if we like it or not.
My personal objective is to return to a place of truth, a place of vulnerability to that truth. The risk of pursuing this truth is tremendous. However, what can be a greater adventure than to risk everything in pursuit of this one thing that endures. If truth is not worth all that, then it probably is not truth at all. Jesus is now more important than ever, especially in a time were deception is played into all of our lives, to such extend, that is seriously shocking. Look, this is how I see it; the devil is always offering to negotiate my values and principles, rarely using an all-out frontal assault. Instead, his most effective game plan is a gradual, bit-by-bit erosion that i often barely recognize and spot, until it is too late. In the end, i have adapted to something, which, in my heart, i know is wrong.
In reality, a great part of these settlements by making concessions and allowances is to; disgustingly immoral, seek its way into my very life. What I started to understand, is to establish a personal relationship with Christ, not following some weird unsubstantiated doctrine, and to realign my walk in this world, with the principles of this relationship. My personal opinions, (and I had many of those) mindset, human reasoning, make me evaluate my own opinions and feelings, which will get me nowhere, because what i let out of this very significant equation is that it is not about me, it’s all about getting to know HIM.